I don’t understand why this newlywed marriage thing has to be so difficult. Especially for the girl. The girl is the one who has to change her name, change from a Ms. to a Mrs… those things sound so small, but they’re really not. They’re really hard. Emotionally, psychologically… I really think these are the main reasons why it’s been tough to be married. I’ve been married for almost four months… that’s it. He hasn’t changed at all; he’s really done nothing wrong. But I’ve been such a mess. Every girl that says she’s extremely happy a few months after marriage is just lying, because what are you supposed to say when people ask you how newlywed life is? This crap is hard in the beginning. And it doesn’t have to be.
I need to speak out in honor of every female who’s married or about to be married. This isn’t right.
Why doesn’t he have to change his last name? Why doesn’t his “Mr” change to something else? Why is it me conforming to what HE is? Is it because “That’s just the way it is.” ? This has been a struggle. And it just simply doesn’t have to be this way. It’s only this way because society says it’s this way. The men and women of society are saying this.
I think we’re in the awkward years in America right now for women. Most of us are getting college degrees and making something of ourselves and actually being considered “people,” but we still have ancient patriarchal terms and ideas. We still have to change our names (which I was honestly always looking forward to doing, except now I’m having a major identity crisis), we have to be labeled as a “wife,” which to me sounds like a maid… Why can’t we just be who we are? Why can’t we continue to be who we are, like men do? My husband fell in love with the me that I am…
I hope that this blog ranting reaches somebody who’s having or has had a similar experience… I personally don’t think we need to put up with this. I don’t need to sacrifice my identity for a man if he’s not sacrificing his as well.